Reply to Lemony Snicket on Occupy Wall Street

Because stuff like this needs to be answered:

1. If you work hard and don't become as successful as you'd like, it's not necessarily because someone else screwed you over.

2. Some words have many meanings. If you forget that, you might mix things up and make mistakes. "Fortune" actually has nine definitions according to Merriam-Webster, and that's not even counting usage as a verb. So yeah, not two.

3. Protesters are like children -- loud and with little sense of personal responsibility. When they cry, you can give them what they want, but then they'll never learn.

4. People who say hard work doesn't matter are like people who say American beer isn't good -- they probably haven't tried very much and are locked into some preconceived notions.

5. If someone doesn't give you a piece of their cake, it may be because they don't know you, they baked it themselves with an oven and ingredients they bought, and they'd rather share it with their friends and family. If you want a cake, no one is stopping you from buying an oven and some ingredients and making one yourself. You might even learn to make ovens, sell them, and use the money to buy ingredients. Or cake.

6. Nobody wants to fall into a safety net. Most of them would much rather be very successful without working hard. But that doesn't happen very often. And if the safety net is comfortable enough, some people will decide it's nicer to stay there than do a lot of work that isn't very fun.

7. Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. They're really irritable and not thinking as well as they would otherwise. On the other hand, someone feeling thirsty will usually just get themselves a drink instead of insisting you get one for them.

8. Don't just ask yourself is something is fair. Give it some real thought. Lots of people in the street may say it isn't fair, but that doesn't mean they're right.

9. People gathering in the streets feeling wronged tend to be loud, because as it is a lot easier and more fun than being productive.

10. There are many people who find shouting in the streets about injustice to be more fun than coming up with answers, and they think other people should come up with answers for them. It's possible that this approach to life might be part of why they aren't successful.

11. Historically, a story about people standing in streets shouting and demanding things of people inside impressive buildings often turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending for everyone -- the people in the buildings and the people doing the shouting. (See France under the Reign of Terror, Russia under Communism, China under Mao, etc.) Stories with happy endings generally involve a lot less shouting and demanding, more taking responsibility for oneself.

12. If you form a large crowd and shout outside someone's building, you might be able to intimidate them into giving you things.

13. 1 percent is a very small percentage. 28 percent is much larger. That is the share of total federal taxes paid by the top 1 percent of income earners. Of course, 99 percent is bigger still, and if 99 percent decide they want even more from the 1 percent, it's probably going to happen, whether it's right or wrong.

If you only take away one metaphor about Greece and Germany....

This is a perfect example of why I love to read Megan McArdle -- good insight, great turn of phrase. (Her 'libertarian-ish but not a purist about it' perspective doesn't hurt.)

If EU economic policy were a soap opera--and apparently, it is--Greece would be the sultry, irresponsible beauty in a tumultuous love-hate relationship with rigid, authoritarian Germany.  Obviously after years of tumultuous breakups and teary reunions, this is the season finale where he finally beats the hell out of her during a screaming fight over thier impending bankruptcy, and in despair, she drives both of them, and his prize Volkswagen, off a cliff.

The whole thing is good... of course.