We've rounded the southern marks and are headed back north, basically
backtracking as we continue to wander around the South China Sea. Didn't
the Israelites wander in the desert for forty years? Seems like something I
would know if I'd paid better attention at various seders through the
years.
We're now headed upwind, which is a miserable way to sail. In a way, it's
impressive that you can sail upwind at all. However, the boat heels over a
lot, which makes everything difficult, especially down below. You also tend
to bounce and slam a lot more over the waves rather than riding them
smoothly. It's almost like you're paying a price for doing something so
unnatural.
Which leads me to this philosophical digression. I've been thinking for a
while that this is only partly a sailing test. It is also partly a "life on
a boat endurance test". I sort of knew this going in, but I only really
appreciated it after being properly at sea for a week or so.
The sailing part is everything you need to do to get the boat from place to
place: hoisting sails, changing sails, trimming, helming, even maintenance
and bilges. It's hard work. Some of it stinks, i.e. bilges. But there is
often a real sense of accomplishment. If you execute a good sail change,
you can take pride in what you've done. I've been very happy with how the
sailing is going. I feel like I'm doing well personally and we're doing OK
as a team, especially given some personnel limitations.
"Life on a boat", by contrast, is everything that you would do in normal
life, but now you have to do it on a boat: getting in and out of bed,
bathing (or not), cooking, using the toilet.... This is also very hard
work, but the thing is, there is no sense of accomplishment-- "I got into
bed without killing myself!" "I got dressed in under ten minutes!" "I
managed to take a leak!" -- just constant annoyance that basic things are
so difficult.
I bring this up now because yesterday I was on the verge of failing the
endurance test. I was on mother duty, so I was below all day trying to cook
and wash up in a hot, sweaty environment, heeled over, with things not
working right. It was actually fairly moderate upwind conditions, but
coupled with a lot of tiredness and the fact we should have been in Da Nang
days ago with no upwind at all... I was near the breaking point. If someone
had offered me the chance to end this trip right then and there, I might
have taken it.
Of course, no one was going to make that offer. In a way, that makes this
easier than, say, a marathon. It's almost impossible to quit when it's at
its hardest. Sure, I can drop in Da Nang, but I expect things will look
different after a few days of rest. Hell, they look different today after a
slight easing in the wind, some time on deck rather than mothering below,
and a bucket shower.
Which reminds me, I had a great dream last night. I was having a shower.
That was it! Really, a shower and clean, dry sheets are what I'm looking
foward to more than anything, and they're now only six days away. Not sure
this is what the Clipper marketing people had in mind when they talked
about achieving your dream, but it's in sight.
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